i cant sleep. all i can think about is jeanne. images of her screaming at me, her crying, her with matt w., times when everything was perfect. its hard not to always have a tear in my eye. he loved the girl, and stepped into our relationship at a conviniant time and turned her against me. he manipulated her mind by giving her advice, harmless advice that made him seem neutral, advice that made him seem more caring, that made her think that everything was hopeless. he was desperate. i cry now everytime i think about it. Mel, Alfonso, and Richie have helped me out so much. Holly has too. It bothers me though when they do things to Jeanne, cause i dont want that for her, i tell them not to. i dont think that matt w is going to give the best for jeanne. hes always gone through cycles, he would be fine for a while, then an asshole, then depressed. hes going to end up forcing jeanne into this cycle, which will hurt her no matter what. it wont change because shes with him, anybody who has ever known matt knows that they r a part of him. jeanne is going to get hurt, more then she can imagine. thats y ive been fighting it. because 1 day, the time will come when matt w goes through his cycle, and takes it out on jeanne. its such a horrible feeling, letting her go into something that is going to hurt her so badly. she doesnt realize that i dont care about myself anymore. id rather me and her never talk again, and her not be with him then what is happening now. i guess the only thing i can really do is try to be her friend. idk if she will ever want to now, but i have to figure out some way to be there for her rather then being there for her in the dark, telling people to leave her alone. if i have to be there in the dark i will, but it hurts to be in the dark, knowing that the person ur helping hates u, knowing that they may never know what u have done for them. just makeing her a lucky girl. but no matter what im going to be there for her, im the only 1 who truly cares about her, and she is the only person who doesnt realize it. i hope that im wrong about him, all i want is for her to be happy, but im still protective of her, and anybody who hurts her will have to hear from me.